How IS Molly

The vet who will sell you anything you never wanted to buy. Does your dog need psych meds? What about aromatherapy? Now when Molly got sick and we took her in, the initial bill was in the 350 range. And of course, they found nothing. None of the medicine they sent home worked. A few weeks later, Molly was found eating her uh, flesh, and was put down soon after.

So the vet called Dad to "see how Molly's doing".

Dad responds "She's dead, thank you very much. We had to put her down after the fantastic care she recieved with you. Personally, I think I got ripped off. So... Sweet dreams - ENJOY THE MONEY!" Click.

Sweedish Meatballs....

If they don't fix it for free, they are going to have a HOT sweedish meatball after them! (Speaking of a washer under warranty, and dad's "sweedish" background.)

Debit or Credit?

After Jess asked "Did you get mom a debit card" for their new checking account, Dad responds"Do you want me to go to the looney bin?".

Whats wrong with her?

Speaking of someone who is holding a grudge. "She's got a case of the ass!"

Dental violence

After carefully explaining the "problem" with his dentist is in fact the front desk, Dad feels compelled to share just one more example. "On my way in there, I tripped over the carpet they had thrown down. The corners were all uneven and it wasn't laying flat. I mentioned it to the receptionist after I saw an older lady with a cane trip.... I just said "you might want to tape down the edges".....but then I came out and of course, nothing had been done. I said heck with this crap.

"I'm not going to just stand around and watch blood let!".

(let by definition, "to descend slowly")

A Mountain of Controversey

"I don't want to rock Mount Vesuvius!

(a volcano near Naples, Italy)

Speaking of the risk of angring his wife by calling her at work for a minor issue.