KMART

"The only thing I remember about Kmart is the underwear".

unsure of preceding conversation.

Birds and the Bees

Over coffee this morning, I am discussing some of the garden flowers out front, etc. I comment "those fuzzy bees are pretty friendly. they don't seem to mind that people are around".

With that deep, contemplative face we all love, dad responds

"Yeah not like those wasps out there that seem to get a thrill out of seeing if they can make you shit your pants!"

On the Sea Do Repair Shop

"Frankly, Jode - I wouln't buy a sack of eggs from these jokers".

Meow.....

As you may know, Hannah and I reside in a cottage. My dad has taken in upon himself to become the house handyman, and frankly he's doing a pretty damn good job.

Due to um, heightened security measures, Dad upped the slider door on his priority list. He fixed the latch that didn't close real well. He was explaining the repair and the original problem to me. I saw the problem right away, it was uneven - but not before he could say:
"You see how this is all Kitty-wompus?"