Special Priveleges

Dad's sister had a cardiac cath. Her physician wears a turban. Its Standard operating procedure for said patient to stay overnight, but Dad called to report "She's going home at 3pm". Having worked in cardiovascular, specifically PCI, I responded "Really? Thats weird". Dad replies "I know. It sure raised a lot of eyebrow's round there! ...
" But I was in the the room when the Great Swami released her".

At his wedding

"I wasn't drunk! I was high!" - JJW

Attorney for the defense

"In my defense . . . in case I need one". JJW

Less then sincere

"Tricksters . . . carrying the bloodstained banner" - of disengenuious christians. JJW

Hornets Nest

This morning, while spraying a hornets nest outside of his living room window - "'Morning Boys!". JJW

"Wedded Bliss"

"When I said "I do", I meant "I do", I just didn't know WHAT I'd do!" - JJW

Cartwheel

"That sounds like mental gymnastics"! JJW

You can't make it up. So don't even try.

Me: "Yeah dad, thats a nice phone.... why did you get a new one?"

Dad: "I ran the other one over with the lawnmower".