Prayer

Preface:
The dog ate Dad's last "good" hearing aid last fall. Nationwide Insurance failed to cover it appropriately. Said hearing aids were not properly replaced, however - the "spares" were pulled out and have been driving everyone crazy.

If you know Jim, you know the prayer commences when he sees all the food present on the table. People are not necessarily counted in this equation. As usual, dad begins this prayer last week with thanksgivings and such and then, as I hear him switch to his closing "tone", he speaks ever so gently -

"And THANK YOU JESUS for these SCREAMING hearing aids...... Amen".

Commonplace Arab Traditions by the fire

"Is he teaching her some Arab tradition?" In reference to Michael, my sister's boyfriend, who was pushing the roasting forks in the ground to clean them at the campfire last week....

Holi(stic) Cow

At dinner, when talking about the meat he has been buying "I don't know. I like this stuff. Its organic you know. You know what that means right? The meat comes from like a HOLISTIC cow!"

--J

Jim, 6/9/07

"Its AMAZING what they are doing with Green Beans these days". --JLW

Commenting on the Internet (again)

"I really should learn how to use that stupid thing".

Diggin up bones

After bringing in an apparently ill dog, the vet's technician asks my dad "Is your dog eating okay, sir?".

"This s'mornin I gave her a milkbone."

"Oh, and did she eat it?" the tech curiously asks.

Shaking his head with disbelief, "Boy, she donned that bone with AUTHORITY". -jlw

On pissing people off.....

"You'd better watch it, or she'll be all over you like a dirty shirt.”

Urgent Choice

“I didn’t know whether to crap or go blind.” -- James

The squirrels.....

“The squirrels aren’t just in the trees around here”

Trouble

“People go looking for trouble, like there is some kind of reward for it!” - James

Regarding a website

“…it will be just a matter of time before ‘they’ change that creepy little thing again!” (bank website)

Old Classics by Jim

“…like a duck on a junebug”
“…lazier than a pet coon”

Said often.

Comment on March 28, 2007

"Our pen's are like gold" - James, of my recent legal prose.

February 19, 2007

James Wilcome
Responding to my thinking-out-loud.... "I'm not sure what I should do"...

"When in doubt, drop back 5 and punt"

James Wilcome

(Speaking of an unauthorize purchase that angered the Mrs)
"I'm going to have to bleed a while before she'll let that wound heal".

Comment by James Wilcome (Jim)

"I don't like the business you've been conducting with my family" to a Nextel Sales Rep on the phone.

Saturday, November 11

"There's just something about cash that I like". -Jim Wilcome